Is it really over? | elwing's Blog

I don't know what to do.

I think its over. Skunktails and I, that is.

I haven't cried. I want to. But I can't. I don't want kiddo to realize there's something horribly wrong. I don't want ME to realize there's something horribly wrong. I don't want to give myself the chance to freak out.

Leaving Skunkie means I've gotta find a place of my own; I've gotta learn how to take care of myself, after over two years of being taken care of. I've got to be mommy and daddy. I've got to figure out what I'm going to tell my son, about why his 'step dad' isn't going to be there anymore.

I want to say I hate Skunkie for this. I hate the fact that my son is loosing his daddy. What do I tell him? 

Where the hell am I gonna go? Back with my mom? I can't stay there forever. I thought my life was going to be this new house, with my eventual husband, my son, and us continuing to build our family together. Apparently, I'm not good enough for him, though. Who I am isn't good enough. After so many years, I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

We had an argument yesterday. I'm seriously starting to worry about myself.

What am I going to tell my son?